Sexual Activities Are Not For Children

(An excerpt from my book: There in the Midst The Mysterious Exposed")

"The things I saw at Grandma Ethel’s house. The images of a couple of small kids giving oral pleasure to my aunt Michelle in the outhouse would never go away. The other was the image of a baby girl being bounced up and down on Uncle Josh’s lap as his face showed pleasure.

The Voice: “I left those fragments there so you would remember in order to write about them. Do you remember once in your youth you asked me to take it away and I said that I was leaving it there so you could write about it one day?”

Yes, I accepted what was said, and I never questioned again. At this point I wanted to stop writing, the pain was too great. I did not want to go any further with this. I dismissed the thought. I could feel a presence with me. I held on to His promise to be with me. My desire to see my journey through was more compelling than my pain. I refused to stop. The story must be told.

In one of my playful moments as a child, I was wrestling with an old hound dog that hung out in the yard. I was trying to ride him like a horse. I straddled his back and as his back rubbed between my thighs, a warmth poured from my body.

The Voice: “You were aroused.”

Now I know. I panicked, leaped off the dog, blinded by tears, and ran from place to place in the yard looking for somewhere to hide. I was afraid of what was happening to me. I ended up in the barn. I was scared. I couldn’t stop crying. I heard myself saying, “What’s wrong with me?”

The Voice: “By this time you had been violated and used enough times that you were sexually aroused.”

I knew something was wrong. I never talked to anybody about what happened that day. I dismissed it as just another question about what was wrong with me. I had no intention of straddling another dog’s back. The journey slows down with the chicken house incident. This memory brought on feelings of shame. This was the time I cornered my brother Armstrong in the hen house and attempted to undo his pants.

The Voice: “Stop that. What are you doing? That’s wrong. Not your brother.”

Those were the words I heard that day. I shutter to think what would have happened had I been allowed to have sex with my brother that day. I ran away leaving my brother standing there in confusion.

The Voice: 'You heard my voice and obeyed it.'”